When Chen Luo woke up, he felt something pressing down on his stomach—not too heavy, but definitely large.

Sleep paralysis demon?

Half-asleep, Chen Luo thrashed wildly, trying to break free from the “ghost” pinning him down. After struggling for what felt like an eternity, he finally forced his eyes open—only to see someone sitting cross-legged on his abdomen, deep in thought.

“FU! HUA!”

The moment Chen Luo recognized the Herrscher of Sentience perched on his stomach like some meditative gargoyle, he yanked Red Wolf’s Frying Pan from his inventory and swung at her.

Chen Luo had zero tolerance for being woken up—especially when it was barely 8:00 on a day he could’ve slept in.

Unfortunately, his furious strike dealt absolutely no damage. The Herrscher didn’t even bother using her Authority—she just tapped a single finger against the pan’s edge, freezing it mid-air.

“Sigh… A’Luo…” She turned her head, her expression oddly melancholic.

“What?” Grumpily, Chen Luo retracted the pan. No point fighting when he stood no chance.

“Do you play Honkai Impact 3rd?” Herrscher of Sentience asked.

“Used to. Quit over a year ago. Now, could you get off my stomach? There’s a nightstand right there—sit on that!” Chen Luo said unhappily

“Did you ever pull for me in the gacha?” She stared at him intently.

“Pfft—you didn’t even exist when I quit! I didn’t even recognize you when we first met. Had to look up your identity with the help of the almighty Baidu.” Since she clearly had no intention of moving, Chen Luo gave up and flopped back like a starfish.

Fortunately I don’t sleep naked.

“Huh? So… you didn’t know who I was when you saved me?”

I don’t know if I was imagining it, but her voice brightened a little.

“How would I know you?”

“Even if you didn’t play, wouldn’t you have seen me online somewhere?”

“But I really didn’t know you at that time, and now the popularity of Genshin Impact is higher than that of Honkai Impact 3rd?”

“So you didn’t save me because you saw me as a paper wife[1]?” The Herrscher of Sentience continued to ask.

“I had no clue who you were! All I know now is that you’re ruining my sleep! And since when do you even wake up early?!” Chen Luo’s patience was fraying.

Why won’t she just get off my stomach?!

After a long silence, the Herrscher’s face suddenly lit up with joy.

“I didn’t ‘wake up early’—I never slept.” Whatever epiphany she’d had, Chen Luo can see that the Herrscher of Sentience is very happy now.

“Uh… how long have you been sitting on me?”

“Hmm… since like 3:00?” The Herrscher of Sentience thought after calculating the time.

“You actually sat on me all night, are you Insane?!”

“By the way A’Luo—did you ever pull for that old timer?” The Herrscher of Sentience ignored Chen Luo’s words and suddenly changed the subject.

“You mean Class Monitor? I wasn’t a hardcore player, but I whaled for characters. Didn’t always get weapons or stigmata, but I had every Valkyrie before quitting—Kiana, Bronya, Mei, Himeko, Seele, Theresa, Rita, Durandal. And I completed every character achievements before I quit.” Chen Luo said weakly.

“HAH! So you got everyone except me?!” She angrily scrolled through release dates on her phone.

“What? I missed Starchasm Nyx too! You came out like three or four months after I quit! So it’s normal that I don’t know you, and it’s also normal that I didn’t draw you.” Chen Luo explained.

Chen Luo had no idea why she was mad, but he knew better than to not explain. Although Chen Luo didn’t think he did anything wrong.

“That’s no excuse! You pulled all of that old timer’s battlesuits but you’re not willing to pull mine?!” The Herrscher of Sentience was unyielding.

“I told you that I didn’t have you before I quit!” Chen Luo felt that the Herrscher of Sentience was very unreasonable.

“Then you should’ve come back for my unique charm and pull the Herrscher of Sentience!”

“Oh my god, you can’t be so unreasonable!” Chen Luo had heard women were irrational, but this was next-level.

“I don’t care! gimme your phone.” She held out her hand.

“Here you go.”Chen Luo took out the phone from under the pillow and gave it to the Herrscher of Sentience.

“Unlock code?” After taking the phone, the Herrscher of Sentience asked.

“123321.”

“Payment password?”

“Same—WAIT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Chen Luo suddenly became alert.

“The anniversary banner’s up—Herrscher of Sentience is rerunning! My arrival here means we are destined to be together! In this case, how can you not pull? Not only pull, but you must also pull all the stigmatas and the weapon! It’s better to upgrade to SS rank.” The Herrscher of Sentience said with full enthusiasm, while opening the App Store and downloading Honkai Impact 3rd.

Since Chen Luo no longer plays Honkai Impact 3 and it takes up a lot of memory, Chen Luo uninstalled it. Even before he quit, Chen Luo played it on the computer using an emulator.

“STOP! That’s a scam! I only have a few hundred crystals left!” He lunged for her arm.

Who in their right mind quits a gacha game without blowing all their currency first?

He vaguely remembered splurging his last 9,600 crystals on Azure Empyrea’s wedding skin before quitting—leaving his account practically barren.

Full gear? SS-rank? With no crystals? Chen Luo was scared just thinking about it. This was enough to make the already poor family even worse.

But just as Chen Luo tried to intercept her, the Herrscher teleported to his bedside. Chen Luo turned over and was about to lift the blanket to get up, but a hand stretched out in front of Chen Luo and then gently snapped the fingers.

“Snap!”

“Sleep. Wake up in two hours.”

Her Authority took effect instantly. A drowsy spell washed over Chen Luo, and his half-risen body collapsed back onto the mattress.

After tucking him in with a smirk, she skipped out of the room, waving his phone.

“Time to GACHA!”

“Damn you, Herrscher… Humanity will definitely defeat the honkai…” Chen Luo Shouted with his remaining strength.

TL Notes:

[1]: The Chinese way of saying 2D waifu.