Chapter 109: What He Could Not Abandon
eWnPerda stood stunned, unable to say a single word.Cfh
M2oPb‘Eremvalt Rosnova.’n7jUa
cZ2wUThe head of the Rosnova family.0cWpO9M
m0TLPerda’s father.l5B
OeKlAnd the source that had led him to become a mage driven by hatred.nkQ0Lr
HdQzn3“What would you like to do?”gJCQAOu
zzMQf4dRuri asked.67zRa
g2bIt was simple.Hvrc
bVNJ1HHe could just send him away.UBYl04
T9GDPerda had been expelled from the Rosnova family and no longer used that surname, so they were now strangers.XLJI
SlhXpLNo matter what he had to say, there was no need to listen.1Dew
0O3LpPmAfter all, listening to his words would only revive negative emotions that would never change anything.dxOd8JM
eW8Under normal circumstances, the answer would have been decided from the beginning.eSGY
5zu8“Let him in. I’ll get ready.”iEUmE
UOmBp“Understood.”yAAgAr
tQHiWdPerda decided to meet him.t1q
xQFAlthough he thought it might be a mistake, he had to confirm it.CmtQSQ
7ITuzHe had to know whether that hatred was still alive.nWivAg
9fB09rT***nMYFp6o
UszDAfter spending about twenty minutes preparing himself, Perda walked down the corridor toward the reception room.GQPb
dVPAy0Once he crossed that door, the man responsible for driving him out of his home would be waiting.AxzZ5
bc7Perda’s steps did not come easily.wbAt
6yE8Hb“Ruri.”fUZMo
GBb96Instead of entering immediately, he called the person standing behind him.clAlPyF
lAxgOg“Yes?”1IVhJTK
bbO7wKN“I’ll go in alone.”hWUdm83
a98O82“Understood.”wl2a
OBDBJ“And make sure that no one, including yourself, knows what happens in here.”xQDvJ
gXEQkpY“…What are you planning to do?”Z3B
uf44TThe request seemed excessive.fwhpYdz
zcYtThat was why she asked.0wQ2
LvLwR“I’m begging you.”dcl
B9ZsVgeA plea.DM9pSO
YosmmnHeavier than an order.0feSFHe
1PaWThat only made Ruri more uneasy.WCbNDs
eUeJ“Understood.”F755R
9A1ggWRuri silently deployed an isolation barrier.vlYx
QtjflkLPerda felt the space become completely separated from the outside world and crossed the door.FULVb
ttpThere he was.2RT
p24BfThe man who had treated him cruelly and cast him out.QDbxhnc
FJu7VR0The man to whom he had returned wounds even crueler than the ones he had received.I4vjuM
ZT3ajzThe moment he saw him, the man smiled enthusiastically.x0cM
nvLIGb“Oh, my son! My son has come!”HNH
ffBNo.6nRjT
s8p2RL8He was only pretending to be happy.MregQH
fE8misHis acting was so poor that even a small child would have noticed how fake it was.x2pO6i
fgkxm0KPerhaps that was why the expression seemed even more pitiful.baStcRH
goNuMlQAnd he was glad to feel that way.ANkoQo
keerdqaBecause thanks to that disappointment, he was able to remain surprisingly calm instead of letting hatred boil inside him.UKi0nhY
uxGIO“Welcome, Head of the Rosnova Family.”d7DLw
MhdS8chPerda spoke with all the formality he could muster, drawing a clear line between them.KQQ5iD
kbbEremvalt showed an uncomfortable expression.S4Zb7
025NWhatever reaction he had expected, it was obvious that it was not the one Perda was showing.pzTrUmO
p2Di2VPerda sat down across from him and studied his face.AbInhR2
SCcAUPEremvalt avoided his gaze while pushing something across the table.ptKRko5
2RAbR“It’s honey produced by the bees of the Rosnova family’s lands. As the Lord Regent surely knows…”7SdcEc2
jVq“Yes. The Rosnova family’s honey is delicious.”7U1
wJPZG“Yes, yes.”TQJ
wTDx“But I no longer like it very much.”wM4an
eTgew“Ah… of course. The Lord Regent will soon turn nineteen, and…”b5dO5k
UCUY“No.”0iBqdv
9sUYPerda’s gaze turned cold.2KT
7z7OaT“I nearly died because of this once.”z9qBjE1
Ci0cmO“…”G2pp
MDBpylV“Huren Rosnova, your second son, emptied an entire jar into my mouth and blocked my airway.”3DEh
OkDf9f7Eremvalt’s face turned pale.Q1edt
HrXDzvPerda continued calmly.1VTXbUq
dfkgy8“If I hadn’t shoved my fingers down my throat to pull it out, I would have died right there. Since then, even the sight of a simple jar of honey made me tremble.”gDzL9Y
3AkDhzH“I… I didn’t…”HtyF
RIEN3LHe seemed ready to excuse himself by saying he had not known.0ogCa
RNiqUk“There were five servants watching that day. It seems none of them bothered to inform you.”U69Mwh
Ike9n0“I have no excuse. Even if I had ten mouths, I couldn’t justify it. If you wish for punishment, I will carry it out myself. No, if that isn’t enough, I’ll personally bring Huren here and punish him in front of you…”VKHn
qIkhs“There’s no need.”G9m3n
yihPerda leaned back in his chair.lY3
agtekM“Let’s discuss the real reason for your visit.”IlDRk
NR7beHe no longer had any interest in a false reconciliation.3ko1X3s
U91U“You see… recently Big Sister visited the Rosnova family.”dfwgHT
VSzQBig Sister.FlH5Qb
k2rJThe nickname, honorific title, and at the same time derogatory label of Erdes Roton.AhSGqO
2feAN“She came to ask about me.”EOba
Q6T“Yes. She asked about you, Lord Regent.”Xd3
STi“And you told her everything.”b0T
Ceo3rDW“No. It wasn’t exactly like that…”ev26i
wDBZXgp“Don’t try to lie to me, Head of the Rosnova Family.”FvTOVL
bTMPt2Perda’s warning was low and cold.lCcqZe1
1Lqu4“Erdes already knows that I use dark magic. Practitioners of dark magic are exterminated along with their families. If all of you are still alive, it means you denied my existence and told her absolutely everything.”Qfk
tYzEremvalt flinched.Wite
NcWHis dry lips moved several times without producing a sound.I9tW
TK8“Am I wrong?”dXB
braeBV1Perda demanded an answer.wYzS8s
oN9ByE7Eremvalt lowered his head as cold sweat ran down his forehead.TgkoX
8Op“It… is correct.”hxD
melFYes.2vj
NVmHe already knew.88clS
SnpHe had known from the day he was cast out that this man had never truly considered him his son.0rdX
3Nqq6KR‘I already knew this story.’g5PM04
TEnFThe memories tried to surface on their own.pSK
pWgesA wave of emotions rose into his chest.xLo
uc7BA headache began crushing his temples.qzKwYS
y45“Did you travel all this way just to confess that?”RMX
rZo4k7Perda still did not understand the reason for the visit.xIUO
b8uz“No. There is something I never managed to tell you, and that’s why I came.”72H
fKeq4yo“Speak.”lLZszGH
8w1LLx“Lord Regent… do you remember Anna Rosnova?”mNhtUms
ZWAGWhat?I2S
3LuhH2That single sentence was enough to shake Perda.U0whUkv
bIPGaSeeing the change in his expression, Eremvalt hurriedly corrected himself.MMh
dG02VhX“No. What I mean is… do you truly remember Anna Rosnova, your mother?”rdGAY
Gh45XEven that correction failed to contain Perda’s bad mood.fpQGbpz
7qUTj“Of course I remember her. She was my mother. And your wife.”9qlFiZ
nMHlQdB“It should be that way. It has to be that way, but…”PwJcO
y64Eremvalt continued with difficulty.3diVo
Douk77u“Those memories feel… completely strange to me.”vahDL
HhmnhNHThose words pierced Perda’s heart.KRatBKH
o3tgIt sounded like a cruel joke.Q1kvRzp
twi1TqAnger and laughter surfaced at the same time.vBQC5
ACuLv03He felt as though he was losing his sanity.NJZ
dwSuetrEven so, he answered calmly.6UBdC4Y
OCgZ“My mother, Anna Rosnova, had blonde hair and blue eyes. You always said she was such a beautiful woman that even I was beyond her reach.”bW5ZUFW
RpAThe memories passed before his eyes.9mMl
zkr7The meals together.7N6vlH
gIqKdC3The laughter.EImWOC
D9z9ETheir intertwined hands.lUZJ
uLKOorThe words of love.urwO
5hNqHe remembered all of it with perfect clarity.OaIocM
sC79gMgHe even remembered perfectly the chill he felt whenever he witnessed those scenes.4Es
tvW0How was it possible that the person who had lived through all of it did not remember?T55G
4VAWK“The only thing I remember clearly is a vagabond woman walking in with a child in her arms.”yskJN8
JkZYZEremvalt said.5NsX
bOVYKjNHe did not seem to be speaking.mP6Do
cvOBHyHe seemed to be spitting out the words.qpuR
K27E“Now that I think about it… I never had any reason to accept her. I had lost my wife, yes, but I already had two sons. I wasn’t lonely. I only remembered that after she died. So…”0Tj
FN37wgG“What exactly are you trying to say?”peIfBE
5hpEremvalt raised his eyes.GQBB
DR0zR8His face was drenched in fear.PJT
uy7U“I wanted to tell you that, from the very beginning, you and I never shared the same blood. Therefore, I beg you to…”vcTqCDW
APIxBHe lowered his head deeply.2eR
84Z“Completely sever any remaining ties with the Rosnova family.”V3b8SY
9PtOi3kPerda was unable to respond.Sa5G
NDLxaHe tried to find words, but none came.3J2sa
W1OHis mind was in chaos.jb1n
GOQWhy did he have to hear something like this?IparQJ
skVoHe had believed he could leave all of that behind.37dqrOV
wvAThen why had this man come to tear open old wounds?i9yGhO
uZz6gHe had already abandoned everything.r1V0TO
CPu6Why bring it back?NWxu
qMFqWhy force him to relive it?7HEYS
xkJA2Why was the person he hated most doing this to him once again?yI4
ebi3CfPerda felt his consciousness growing hazy.G4T
CZ1jThe emotions were trying to devour him.liTZ8r0
TMfsmsrHe slowly closed his eyes.jhM
Px0iHe tried to calm himself.UrWauT
vIPWBut the only thing he could perceive was the movement of the circuit.CURO
6dqAnd a sweet whisper.CjmrGH
nAdPerda knew that voice.Kc83Qlx
XgzYUIt was the same one he had heard when Ruri was in danger.YZEO13C
un6Kill him.N9Msh
4qo04R2Kill him.bEj
ji1gEXLast time you turned him into an empty shell.igf
Xx4sNow strangle him to death.AqX
kQs1ZcYou must return the same pain he caused you.IKUEZd
rmXWhy are you hesitating?NS6
G0IU0oeThe first time is difficult.oaR
EbG9The second time is easy, isn’t it?wfw
s2ldThose words snapped him back to his senses.6JBY9
Gky0JtThe circuit within his chest was spinning.TpXyVnX
MoBaSpinning frantically, as if it were about to reach the Sixth Circle.RC8Owf
t4YBut that was not all.JkD
VGx0When he opened his eyes again, he saw something impossible.txGp8np
TbJrI1Behind the bewildered Eremvalt Rosnova stretched a pair of black arms.e2z
9YA6GZoSince when could Eremvalt Rosnova use shadow magic?YIw
yp6NThat was impossible.wryr
B5j7Those shadows were limbs created by Perda’s will.DzhBy
RWc3They moved forward until they were right in front of Eremvalt, as if ready to strangle him at any moment.uiy
D16Perda hastily withdrew those hands.dSCExdo
yGFrSuppressing the emotions swirling inside him, he spoke in a rational voice.GrCT9
dqNOpVD“Please leave, Head of the Rosnova Family.”wlq
mYf9mpEven so, an unsettling atmosphere filled the room.QyCnh
DWXYh2VEremvalt immediately stood up.ctWN
HKlJust before walking through the door, he paused for a moment and turned his head.aPf
wqQ“Thank you for your mercy, Lord Regent.”a3si
adm97rWith that, he left.jgGKE2X
KWSmNHad that been his final display of hypocrisy?zoFghg
xRKtSOr was he simply trying to curry favor to reduce future consequences?Tlu
1AI4iXPerda could not know.Ynu3Z
TQbkJZHis mind was in chaos.iQfQ3
tGt41“Lord Perda.”7MjvfvN
cKrWhen Eremvalt left, Ruri entered the room.tsl
iff060D“What kind of conversation did you have for him to leave with that expression…?”qzNhb
ccInHRuri could not finish her sentence.z9KMygZ
m2sOYVhPerda remained seated with his head lowered, staring blankly into space.d2E9h
QJZBIt was an expression she had never seen on him before.TpKuaB
GDKr“Ruri.”sbJbZ7a
Yrh1QThe voice that left his lips was heavy.hfcDS
cS8Jppw“May I ask you a favor?”upVAH
AsBuGjx“Tell me.”P3n3qK
8lPbSPerda spoke in a trembling voice.fkIK
2Yrtp“I want… to visit my mother.”9Dr
kLU“Understood. If you tell me the location, I’ll take you there immediately.”FYpS
qqHYP“Go to the Rosnova family.”40fq6Go
6MI“Yes.”MDbgT
ci7DOnce they reached the terrace, Ruri wrapped her arms tightly around Perda.s2GD
EOv8jbNot like someone carrying cargo, but like a genuine embrace.7lG
03cShe flew like a comet, and in an instant they arrived before the Rosnova family estate.Y2x
LEn3ZD“Where is the grave?”8bQhqP
VBvJAPerda did not answer.ksYKmn
TIAsfHe simply changed direction and began walking elsewhere.w78EH
MFfNHe was not heading toward the mansion.OQYL
kGJSince Ruri had assumed the grave would be located somewhere on the estate grounds, she followed him silently.DZA8
GgjHnPerda walked without saying a single word.mI9iC
UBXbH0ERuri knew better than anyone how poor his physical condition was.E2CMW
PLWcwIt did not take long before she could hear his labored breathing and rapid heartbeat.jza
jhUEq“Lord Perda.”a17DPD
gipOA“…”TlGg4
xgGUG“You’re having trouble breathing. Wouldn’t it be better to rest for a while?”prwW6L
72JhbPerda did not answer.vfXq
6iAHwcuHe continued forward like someone possessed.Ue5qVXS
Fxy0Ruri could have stepped in front of him and stopped him.uiK4U
4TPFmrBut she lacked the courage to do so.yFVSHr
AWEPBjShe did not know what burden he carried on those shoulders.QuM7
nat4oNor did she have the courage to face the expression he was wearing.XHi
VzvSo she simply followed him in silence.njP
q51ZBaPerda moved forward while gasping for breath, covered in sweat.oaxD
c3QEventually, his steps came to a halt.EDVMz
pGJRLCjIt was a plain.3U40
fxWA barren plain where only a tree stump remained.FYy0l
A644It did not seem as though he had stopped merely from exhaustion.8BSY1A
CYl“Is it here?”QkywyYs
AsoQgkuPerda nodded.RGYtfb
9QgVcA“Where is the grave?”7gE
mH2pIKRuri looked around several times.fobeu
bI7asVSBut she found no sign that anyone had ever been buried there.mM7MTe
ykaS“There is no grave.”H4f
lWqFXPerda extended a hand into empty space.JnQt9ma
CKkE“Here… I said goodbye to my mother.”uLMn
9gRqVkQ“Was she cremated…?”1GtaN39
94WVKgqAmong old knightly families, the custom was to bury the dead.34u
gyiYiNo matter how humble a concubine might have been, once she became part of a knightly family, she was supposed to rest in the family mausoleum.bIdRp
ebmObE1“The moment my mother died, they hurried to burn her body. They even tried to dispose of the remains as if they were trash, using servants to get rid of them.”oSBz
GDd“…”6xeNQVe
fbkZ“So I handled everything myself. I gathered those ashes one by one and carefully placed them in an urn.”P3lDHm3
ZTyVPerda lowered his gaze to his hands.YGJ7
bqTUh5They were empty.VUnv
oCvBut he still vividly remembered the sensation of touching those ashes.ePPP
1b6o“That day, I wanted to scatter them somewhere my father would never find. Even if the wind eventually carried them away, I wanted a place where I could remember her.”LUfpu5
yLJ7wuc“…”5TbdgZY
f4t9U“So I walked until it felt as though my soul was leaving my body. I walked until I reached a place so far away that I could barely get there. And that place was here.”QfUMlm
9v5FD3SPerda looked up at the sky.SMFrzo
GeGkyAcross the withered sky and earth, the remnants of life seemed to scatter coldly.FN46rU
FQa6aHis gaze lowered to the stump.sgA
Fyp“There used to be a tree here. A solitary tree standing in the middle of the plain. It resembled me so much that I scattered the ashes beneath it.”hzjHE
S2h“Then why is only the stump left…?”rVKc
AyAgT“One of the servants followed me. Then they cut down the tree.”BB0
AVd6“…They did something so cruel to a son who had just lost his mother?”H8JXT8
4fJRuri felt anger.JwPM
FXcuMShe understood better than anyone how precious family was.gnPzAsX
ggpAThat was why she could not take this lightly.4lj11wj
W6Tv1She clenched her fist.lObhzi
bs4thShe thought she should have intimidated that man far more before letting him leave.LM29OmS
WPyeka“I believed it was my fault.”WUhe
vBiWPerda’s voice trembled.wSD
S3Ym“I thought that if I hadn’t been so weak… if I had shown talent as a knight… I could have protected my mother’s memory.”yrBeICV
ENtNuHis own weakness.FKfZvJE
ARWDA body so frail that even effort left no mark upon it.sU40k0q
sC7xEven until the day he died, Perda had never been physically strong.J0OG
UQlC“And that was how I was driven out of my home.”kRIr
x8kswNUp to that point, it was a story Ruri already knew.r1k
f0qEWhat came afterward was known only to Perda.HaV
Up3AcFeHe continued speaking.bZLNV
alOdA“I trained as a mage. In a short time, I surpassed many talented mages and reached the Third Circle.”eRXXdf
T5JH37Back then, Perda had not yet been consumed by hatred.CGA
kXBzxA child and an angel still lived within his heart.FBlTRl
7WwuThe child thought.V1YHx77
9duDhF‘Perhaps now he’ll accept me.’rDHU
PNg07After all, Eremvalt had been an affectionate father.aTFQA
0naoHe loved his wife.RmRBp
6IjHe advised his children.ZKKgfyQ
8sZmSHe had been a good father.urEZZ
3fgzZ4tAt one point, he had even been Perda’s role model.tAIeJ7Y
uqygmOIt was just that he had never been that way toward Perda.29MX
LSqXHThe angel told him that family bonds still existed.wv0Z
lUlSPSAnd the child believed that angel.euM1ZO
IGvgHe wanted to believe that the world was not made solely of malice.Clm5Q
HaJE9The young Perda wanted his clumsy father to apologize to him.hDbeLA
NAMP— How dare you come back here?3B7
9iy0Hl6What greeted him when he returned to the mansion was a roar of fury.DF5P
HbufZuG— You are no longer my son! Do you think that learning a few magic tricks gives you the right to show your face here again? Get out immediately!KHF
I9m8h16Those words were hotter than fire and colder than ice.ha5
iBk9OHis older brother Ellen and Huren ended up beating him and throwing him out by force.W9ujIG
0oaPIt was raining that day.IZMg0p
wkiX4dThere was blood in his mouth.SVY9
jI7His body was drenched.PYFiOY
qm7Perda was half dead.hj7w
DZ8Had he not dragged himself into a shelter to escape the rain, he surely would have died.uH53WG
FVPgzazThat day, the child realized something.Qrk
CUKI8QpHe realized that hope was nothing more than an illusion that prolonged a miserable life.VAqxTJn
diwMklZAnd that child killed the angel.EEdaR3
J8UDQbvThe only thing left filling his heart was the voice of a malicious demon.80qD6H
BeyThe more mercy he sought, the more pain he received.fbP
kX8fAnd at the end of hatred, he found only more hatred.mi95k
ltNWlgIt was not until he reached absolute emptiness that he finally regretted everything.PZj3Eep
AiKl“I thought that was the end.”toUI
rLM4In the end, he deeply regretted it.Pt2T3
uDFAnd he decided to live solely for a clearer purpose.4LbOkKG
ftdWThat demon should have died.Cx8Zpa
I8PE36That was why he believed the purity of that day would return to his heart.Hrjh
Qp9p“But it didn’t change.”otUe7y7
iIvKs7“What didn’t change?”Y3Oj
OmT“The hatred.”Rxv
YohDThe little monster his father had created.VaEXju
T2ICl“The hatred that turned me into a monster. The hatred that transformed me into an empty shell…”7xB0ww
R9kPerda pressed a hand against his chest.TrfNh
dQ13IO“It’s still here inside me.”Ll6D3oe
flx7aRRuri was unable to respond.tTo9l
SasThe silence was broken once again by Perda.0BL
pLyC“Ruri.”eOp
Prq7rx“…Yes.”3hUkWE2
37mlYK“When I met my father, I tried to kill him.”1dL
8tGshMj“A father like that deserves to die.”TXPU
nUt1e2“It wasn’t my decision.”KJZ
AudvThat was precisely what frightened him most.E9iL
t49EmL0Just as he had nearly killed his father unconsciously, he feared that one day he might choose to kill Valdrova without even realizing it.6eEH
ijPbySThe possibility that such a thing still existed within him was an unbearable burden.cd1u7S
mTAcMBut how could he explain it?pcPFP
DA8He did not want to burden Ruri with even more worries.TIQY9ew
LfwL3Q“Stop saying foolish things.”9mS
lZcFuRTRuri scolded him in a displeased tone.JfnrZZ
02I“You are the Regent of the Grand Duchy of Valdrova, the ruler of Hestia, and the fiancé of the Great Flame. Didn’t you decide to wear the crown knowing it could break your neck?”9Se
KTuRHJK“…”eIB
wRh“You can’t say such weak things. Straighten your back, keep your shoulders firm, and wear an expression worthy of your position. Even allowing yourself to worry about something like this is a luxury for you. You shouldn’t be wasting time here. Go back and do your job.”YRNC4j
KWPbRuri took another step forward.yqyP
NjwRpZ“And if one day you lose your mind and become a monster…”Jpx
VuDrwgHer small hands extended.QLFX
TfP1C“Myself.”8yFnpl
ND9Z3Both hands wrapped around Perda’s neck.5J5U15
j96pjThe gentle warmth of her skin slowly spread through him.sHads
uRJGuided by those hands, Perda raised his head.gUT3mm
japdRYWhat Ruri was wearing was a rather clumsy mask of adulthood.BF8VGS
X9nC“I’ll execute you myself.”NVC
F4QBut that bravado began to crack.AHumsR
EYbTaHer face filled with sadness.boxDTdd
JSOd“So…”Ro0
UiFiso“Please leave that foolish expression for moments like this alone.”3IvF5
4IEm1XKPerda’s emotions were beginning to affect even Ruri.Ij0sv
9XPuIf Ruri was like this…pBO
ir7jHow would Valdrova react?vKlxSQd
u6607She would surely suffer even more.IesE9
vHgKmPerda felt his mind gradually clear once again.07Sm
ama“You’ve helped me once again.”ekiWjm8
oPhKXA faint smile appeared on his face.UwJJvXw
6YY“Thank you.”dXHK
y7CY***yOOI6t7
eCsNMeanwhile, someone was watching Perda and Ruri from a distance.CdpELp
JqSLqhIt was Olivia Arken.4NGeFEj
What did you think of this chapter?
Report comment
Please select the reason for reporting this comment. False reports may result in account suspension.
Haimiya_cutie.
Body IntegrationWhy is this girl is here?
Haimiya_cutie.
Body IntegrationI feel sad for him.
Haimiya_cutie.
Body IntegrationI feel same as ruri.
Haimiya_cutie.
Body IntegrationI hate this man.