Chapter 11: Just to Feel It Again Is Enough
rIp9YKThere is an old story about blind men and an elephant.lA1
1Clc9In short, it involves letting three blind men touch different parts of an elephant and then describe what kind of animal it is. Each one gives a different answer.toqyq
rjGThe moral is clear—you can’t judge the whole from a single part.sHe5
dnXHowever, there are things so obvious that, by seeing only one part, one can understand the whole.pvWsc
g113YFor Perda, that moment was the beauty of Valdrova.k7VgH
sfKPjThe only thing he could see was her jaw and her lips.wmFZ66
ijMA3qA chin line as clear as porcelain caught his gaze.G9ds
cq8YQElAnd her lips, red and shiny like an apple bathed in morning dew.tII2X
AYDJust by looking at that lower part of her face, Perda understood two things—that his future partner was a woman, and that he had never seen such beauty before.E5EAay
oaRThat revelation disoriented him.eGYtoV
cp8GbiThat’s why he couldn’t stop staring at her lips.wvMzw
ZxCdKkValdrova brought the nuptial wine goblet to her mouth.6KMNH2
qATVThe liquid slid slowly between her lips until the chalice was emptied.F0PUv
jjSuHZAt that very moment, Perda noticed a change within himself.9rYlu4
TbnKThe fear etched deep in his being toward dragons was fading away.8aHKN2
INS— The mortal shall transcend the mystery and, by washing away fear, will unite with the eternal.5QtuNa
V5GWki0Exactly as Ruri had said.5mcUf
L01That primitive fear of dragons was dissipating.sq5aLya
pMTYA‘They really prepared all of this with ordinary humans in mind.’MtRtHL
PcNThe core of the ceremony was allowing both parties to look each other in the face.NeYTgi
2cm2QAnd so, Perda felt it again—the hope she had harbored and the pain caused by its frustration.imVh92t
FtNWhen he observed her more calmly, the dragon-shaped helmet turned slightly toward his side.jEkh
9ygRA pair of eye slits glanced at him briefly before turning away sharply.l5p
cMc‘Maybe I stared too much.’Tpee
OsaPerda turned his face away and waited in silence.jXnt
lYw“Now we will proceed with the reading of the mutual vows.”3mx
oOZRuri, with a bored expression, gave the turn to Perda.VZL
MnykrOValdrova, with her head bowed, waited.2Rx5Y
pl0GPerda exhaled slowly, transforming the trembling in his vocal cords into a clear voice.sqbIm6
xUw“You don’t know me well.”NgHLi
JqbfDIt had taken him an entire day to write that sentence. Finding the first line that expressed what he felt was too hard.YZGQ5C
GGPl“But I do know you.”9OoX1r
rseqZAnd the answer was—Mw1gYZH
RY58“You gave me your heart. Through it, I was able to see you and learn from you.”6TkwNLY
cjWVwCIt was his way of expressing everything, honestly.lGnDIJ
Ccc“I saw you being betrayed and slandered over and over again. I saw how much they hated you.”kfICG9
6vI1SLFClank.tQDzDR
0cmQValdrova’s armor trembled with each line of the vow.X1R8MH
F1WB“And even so, you fulfilled your duty with nobility. You never turned your back on what you loved and defended it until the end. Your righteousness corrected me.”3Ik1w7
j01zIt was, he believed, the best choice of words.oyofkx
Xs3“That’s why, here and now, just as you gave me your heart, I now give you mine. My queen, my everything.”IYu
zfeRThat was where what he had written ended.CkxY9
atmsI‘This part I didn’t write, but…’dXEHq
j2cAKSHis voice did not stop.l7KI
kEIDzn6He raised his head to look at her.7ySAi84
mdAQEUpon finding the slits of the helmet, he immediately looked down again.wk982
DLdakVClank, clank.qKyoV3w
vbYynValdrova’s armored figure moved awkwardly, as if trying to hold something back.FrbYD
6nt“It is an indescribable honor to be engaged to a woman as beautiful as you.”OAf
H7Qxn6oThe iron helmet shook strongly.u4cu3w
vS7yk0uRuri, expressionless, watched Perda—though inwardly, she squirmed in embarrassment.lOT
rQbCn4“Now we will proceed with the bride’s vows—”XqPB7Ms
3vR98txShe was interrupted.R6Z
starcValdrova raised her hand to stop her.dvlqAie
UtPoa7“Why…?”sj1F
JFCz— …VOGQU
ynVShe didn’t answer.XH39Dpm
kw5kIShe simply turned around and began to walk away.6wSKD
06JRfIEMaybe she was preparing something, Perda thought, and watched her.BAu
ENHbWCBut Valdrova went into her lair.qTA78
oxAvAPThud.bnfbzOJ
L7XvPShe closed the door behind her.HgH7
ASTKIeP“……”afKVG5j
acOz“……”VUvfsF
U5tHIShe had left without reading any vows.RnXWsK
hWEPerda and Ruri stood in front of the closed door.ABlK
EyFxAo“…The ceremony is complete.”oRi0
OwBThus the rite concluded.nh4
iFZXThere had been no vows from Valdrova, but the essential part had already been fulfilled.NRRbHW
r6MobN“Let’s return, then.”HFauzA
txIkgeRuri tried to pull him out of his daze.2M3QP
H5QV40But got no reply.RrsCp3
lAM2bPerda just stared at the iron door, serious, absorbed.X2Hez
ZFm“Lord Perda…?”J3nHh
a0mWhen she insisted, he finally responded.gNWA
wXCM“Forgive me, would it be possible to lock me up for about three days?”reH
ODavD1“Lock yourself up?”Ax7Ripy
cUlcWBh“Yes. Without eating or drinking, to spend the time in solitude. I beg you not to interrupt me.”hWCAe
yPCIt was a declaration—he would isolate himself without touching food.l47b0K1
cY4bTo Ruri’s ears, it sounded like this.YoYl3vg
Sf7zF‘He must be really shaken.’u1TZhXs
TEHZvouThe vows were meant to be mutual, but she had run away without saying a word.FSPI
D85It made sense for him to feel ashamed.2uVA3pP
WMCut5Y“Understood.”4DwbYa
rHbA crescent moon-shaped smile curved on Ruri’s lips.ho5
6ovqD***NMh2
g3M6Qi“Just as I expected from you, my lady. With this, the initiative is now in your hands.”N36p
QbEEwRuri entered Valdrova’s lair and applauded.IybSH
8pOdThe queen had returned to her dragon form.mC3Tin
t9Pz6SCoiled in a ring of her own body, she hid her head beneath one wing.iiQSTT7
wPjg3Valdrova had ruined the ceremony several times before, but this decisive move held great weight for Ruri.DDD3rHy
Hhk5cF0“I never would’ve imagined such a tactic. A one-sided strike and a swift retreat.”Q6LHd
GdAR0Pu— …dY6RunC
JydKA“Making him read such a sappy vow, leaving him humiliated, and then ending everything at once—no doubt his momentum was completely cut off.”bSM8404
itaeBh— …xsrt7N
F5DL1“But that wasn’t your intention, was it?”8YQ
ef67VRuri’s face, previously delighted, turned neutral.F0tz
1WxValdrova lifted her head.r4ywaB
pOO— I wanted to read my vows too. As is fitting for one who receives a companion.7GcEp
uaQIMo8“…I understand.”oGyNZ
CJprRuri shifted her gaze to a corner she had been trying to ignore. There lay a pile of crumpled sheets.CNaHSC
eOi3wPShe knew how many pages Perda had torn up while writing his vows.daW
peBx‘Ten.’i9F
OGRTFQkFrom those, a single final page had emerged.XKDdwF
OaG5DCJSimple and fitting.H3c
u6gaqRBut Valdrova had written twenty.Im5
EPgfCJLTwenty pages filled to the margins. And she had wasted enough paper to fill three entire volumes.5rb
lRXdZvA sensitive and pure spirit, unbecoming of the feared dragon queen.GuZKY
umJmucHIf anyone else saw them, it would be mortifying.zhA4PR
0tjLFor Ruri, who had been by her side for centuries, it was merely a reason to sigh.f2XYRig
CL4“If you wanted it so badly, why didn’t you do it?”y2E
LRRpE— That’s…a0WyLS
F45qQkValdrova moved her lips.GlH
7dwR— I couldn’t look at him.8aY
pdA3nV“Look at him? What do you mean?”D4b9y5t
buKVoOm— I didn’t have the courage to meet his gaze and speak.AbSkU2D
qPcd7A9With her fearsome dragon face and voice, she let out the words of a bashful maiden.omg
BFuX— That silver hair, those eyes that seemed to pierce through me, that soft voice…nAm4vj
VXas“…….”kEi
pKTZHX2“When I saw him… my mind went blank, and I couldn’t do anything.”qgwN
0x8PlL“…So did mine, my lady.”mpFULa
I712“You understand how I feel too?”66y
DSsTtMKRuri was about to drill into her own ears and cough up blood from sheer embarrassment.zPZP
aXWbQ“Anyway.”YLf
1xmIf she kept listening, she’d end up scolding her again, so she changed the subject.nVxvs
VuQiv0D“From now on, the future consort will begin acting as lord of the household. He’ll take charge of the castle and the vassal lands.”U2qKHKc
ol1g“That… I know well.”U9w
fXgX“And when a human takes power, they begin to change.”dDPZIgQ
kxXrMzK“…….”fjq9Fnv
oTYPower.Unp
Uis8H6sUpon hearing that word, even Valdrova, who had been in high spirits, fell silent.Idk9Oj
0OoylbThe Third Prince.HSocF
Z7rThat prince whom she herself had killed still haunted her.JHuf4w5
hIlfRNIt had happened decades ago, but for someone who had lived through eras, it felt like yesterday.tk7S1
vqfSpIb“That’s how mortals live—flowing with time. Always be ready for disappointment, my lady, my great sovereign.”ts82KgX
9s7kUi“I understand…”A697su
tLIUValdrova’s gaze drifted into the distance, lost in thought. The pure maiden who had faced a human became once more an everlasting being.OMPYf
5HbXpThrowing cold water on a day of celebration wasn’t pleasant for Ruri either.BtwXE
BTbt6‘But it’s necessary.’O7rsar
DhH2Even a hero receives ovations under the triumphal arch only to remember afterward that they are still human.rfil
HrKvIn the same way, she had to remember that everything she loves and cherishes will eventually be corrupted or disappear.wduto
JoghIThat was the best advice Ruri, dragonspawn and loyal servant to Valdrova, could give her.g6mv9h
s09Sw***YcC
jLX8After the ceremony, Perda immediately went into seclusion.8XHnUAC
gOBUnlike Ruri, who believed he had locked himself away out of embarrassment and shock, he needed time alone.lFT
XFTz‘That feeling I had when I saw her…’d4rk
fuzNgWhen he wrote his vow, he had simply put down what he thought.FfP
bZOyIBut when he spoke it aloud, something that had been buried deep in his consciousness surfaced.x36
d12So much that he ended up adding words that weren’t on the page.s5xT
L0U‘Why did I do that?’DAz
IESzHe knew that by saying it, he’d leave her unsettled.M9ZK1
uzj3xUHe knew it might ruin the rite.cizdoHE
ZZIF‘But I had to say it.’b1zxW
e55It was an irrational impulse.18qqwe0
PRKHe feared that if he didn’t say it at that moment, it would already be too late—and he let himself be carried away.EKQW
eGKHzIn the end, he confused Valdrova and the ceremony veered off course.pHSEl
w40‘Why?’tG4l7o
8Y2With that question, he closed his eyes.ArDIq
xR2bVHe went over what he had seen and felt with all five senses, recalling it again and again.CNpvabZ
snnpozyTo avoid clinging to a false clue, he repeated it dozens of times until he finally reached a conclusion.lYUD4HR
GqDh‘It was at that moment.’hd9DQU
F3uWhen he saw her briefly as she raised the goblet to drink the nuptial wine, Perda lost his breath.hwkW
UMToftThat feeling made him, for a moment, someone different—not the great mage he had been, but a man named Perda.6iU
F3fO5r‘But what is this called?’arkNe33
F3zTo find out, he focused solely on the moment of greatest intensity.n211ve
AL1WHe repeated and repeated, seeking only that answer.B5oT
ta4SGjIThen he felt it—a shiver.7t1EMPx
FxfWithin the already-formed circle, beneath his lower abdomen, something spun violently.oFZd
SP9AThe more that engine grew, the more his chest burned.lbxL8N2
kQmUfr‘The red circle is in motion.’DmBV
KRzIt was a wild, uncontrollable current—a flood that could swallow him whole.GUqnu7b
ixI‘Dangerous…’JKQXlnq
waPkYInstead of forcing an answer, he focused his senses.RbBOen
H36wJHe had two options—distract himself to calm the red circle’s movement, or focus on the emotion and stir it up even more.Ju6
fVg‘The best option is to calm it down.’2BPo
9U7vkAgitating it was like placing a blade to one’s neck—a dangerous choice even for someone who had been a great mage.Dsu
D1EnH‘But if I want to be worthy of Queen Valdrova…’SJNh48i
nbdHe had to take risks and venture forward.NQhq
knTPThat was Perda’s resolution the moment he stepped into her domain.6B1sWv
ToSlxUj‘Let’s do it.’NwnY
a9BUGPwHe focused his mind on a single point.nzdMH
tYEtw7Forging a second circle was similar to forging the first, but without the initial vagueness—he could now define it more easily.4j2t
mo6qf‘The problem is I don’t have enough stored mana.’QI7k
4Jhft2Opening a circle is like breaking a shell.bLaq
IxSWTo enter a new world, you must break your own shell.kbouo
7nHGDFFor that, you need a hard beak and strength—mana and willpower.Nt7v
bJvPerda had both.sArSz
Ipt76G‘First, focus…’otc
j9e5ZHe closed his eyes and assumed the posture.BOXk
LLgUBHe dropped his consciousness deep down.Ax4ZxkE
9NBXHHis senses dulled—he no longer heard his heartbeat, nor felt the flow of time on his skin.AWozyA
0vnVRNothing could disturb him.pcL
fAwj26OOnly his bare consciousness remained. He drew a line in his mind.A9w
WJ3The line served as a guide, and the turbulent mana flowed along it.EKJfrd
grFJcsFWithout resisting, he guided it naturally to a new place.XTrG
tv5wYNYThe stream born from the great river swelled until it formed a new circular shell.Ja6cbKK
iJX‘Then you layer it.’9UU
4lFB5U8A circle that wraps around the one already formed. He slowly shaped that new form and defined it with clarity.turjYy3
ys22CWFor forty-eight hours of continuous effort, he molded it until it was complete.8eNL
0uWHkTwo circles now spun in his lower abdomen.VR8Yw
6FPUIPPerda had become a 2nd-circle mage—a spell blower.dpaw
FJQt6Vd“Hmm…”T82wB
75FUEven after reaching the 2nd circle in just a few days, he wasn’t satisfied.GsN9xT
i8tD‘The emotion has run its course.’rGrU
GicMAs the new path opened and he reached the 2nd circle, that emotion had calmed.VjD
2qs9aThat tingling had become part of him, and the thrill he felt recalling it was now gone.SgSnHQ
rT8‘That’s the downside of the red circle.’blmuQXq
ZKNamkFIt always demands stronger stimuli; without them, stagnation sets in. You either become a monster devoured by emotion or remain half-formed.4W6s
rVrWexD‘Just to feel it again is enough.’oDHI
ZnPThere was no rush, even if he hadn’t yet discovered the name of that feeling.GYnc
r7uOUWhen he stood before her again, that emotion would overflow once more.fOmvjZ
fwrtFHe was sure of it.5wuXY
oZlsPerda smiled.73k
9Io***hpMH
OJ735X“When he said he was going to lock himself up, I had a feeling—but he’s already 2nd circle?”gyeO
4AR“That’s right.”3IvH4
kiDA mage reaching the 2nd circle in three days.duT
rT08UHe had barely been there a little over a month and had gone from civilian to 2nd circle in a flash.74Lez
jxtqH3‘An abnormal growth rate.’SzXRVgh
pGuMWrrEven if it was “just” the 2nd circle, the pace of his progress commanded respect.602
J2Q“Then, is this my office?”mZ8dEaS
MtT4h46“Yes. Though only with delegated authority for now.”cfIk2
R9sMGbKPerda and Ruri were in the queen’s office.7Qys2
R4LBAged wood lined everything; it was a space optimized for governance and heavy with presence.QUNKn8
XlkWhen Perda crossed the threshold, he could almost swear the queen was seated at the far end.hqvhh
dRTAs he absorbed the atmosphere, he asked,w3POPoM
gCCvJV“Now that I’m officially the fiancé, what do I do?”XZSWi9
kAFA“As I said—staff selection. The queen has returned to action, so her place must be filled.”NNKf
lt41“I heard. But can I decide that on my own?”06KlleO
sZhmPa“You, no.”o9vyU
NdaxoRuri lifted what was on the table.c9oq1c
aPN“But this can.”M1TAlL
qhlhgIt was Valdrova’s royal seal.UWx
XWP5The seal carried the same authority as its bearer. Hence the saying—treat the seal as if it were the king.VuB79mp
CyBsbg“Talent selection, huh…”Z3p
DmGOFZRThe normal thing would have been to ask for time to think about who to appoint.oOQEe
byRnqAt least two days, calmly.YnAt
stTSfu“…Yes, I’ve got it.”spu
ymXBut Perda’s pen began to move without hesitation.WukCyp
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