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I Married the Dragon I Killed Chapter 111: I Don’t Want to Give Up

Chapter 111: I Don’t Want to Give Up

It​‌⁠ was while Eremvalt⁠‍ was on his​​‌ way back to​ the Rosnova Estate.‌

As⁠​ he rode in⁠ the carriage, he‌ thought to himself.‍

‘Yes.‍⁠ This is enough.’‌‍

He‌ was convinced that​​⁠ cutting ties had⁠⁠ been the right⁠​ decision.

These‍‌​ had been days‌ in which he⁠ had been losing⁠⁠‍ entire clumps of​‍‌ hair because of⁠ Erdes’s constant scrutiny⁠ and pressure.

Now⁠​⁠ he had obtained​ confirmation that Perda‍​ no longer had​ any connection to‍‍​ him.

From‍‌ this moment onward,‌‍‌ they were complete‌⁠⁠ strangers.

No.‌‍

Rather,​ Eremvalt would be​‌ the one left​⁠‌ as the victim.⁠​

“I’ll​ never have anything​⁠‍ to do with‌⁠⁠ that damned useless‌​​ brat again. This‌‍ is enough.”

“What‌ useless brat?”

“Uagh?!”‌

Upon‌‌ hearing that familiar⁠‌‌ voice, he looked‌​ up.

They‍‌​ were inside the​ carriage.

The‍​‌ seat across from​‍​ him should have‍‍‌ been completely empty.‍​‍

However,​‍ a teenage girl‍‌ was sitting there.​

Platinum‍⁠⁠ hair.

Blue‌⁠‍ eyes infused with‍ mana.

Her‌ name was Erdes‍‌ Roton.

President​‍ of the Serdes‍‌⁠ Magic Association.

A living disaster.

A delinquent who used‍ magic.

“Why​ are you looking⁠‍ at me like‍⁠ that?”

She​‍⁠ smiled mischievously.

“Repeat​ what you just​ said. I’m interested⁠‌‍ in hearing what​ you were talking​ about too.”

“M-My⁠ unforgivable sin. I dared to speak​‍​ disrespectfully of the⁠⁠ President…”

“Do‌ you think I came all the‌ way here just‌‌ to hear gossip‌​​ that insignificant?”

She‍⁠ was famous for⁠ holding grudges.

But​ Erdes had not‍​ come for that.⁠

“Tell​ me what you‍‍⁠ discussed with the‍ Regent.”

“It​‌​ was nothing important.”​​

“Of‍‍ course it was.‌‌⁠ If it wasn’t‌ important, why did‌​ Valdrova’s maid and​‍ the Regent leave‌‍⁠ together afterward?”

Eremvalt‍ flinched.

“W-Where‍‍ did they go?”‌‍⁠

“I⁠‌‍ don’t know. Judging‌ by the direction,‍‍ it seemed related‌‌‌ to the Rosnova​⁠ Estate.”

She‍ smiled, showing her⁠‌‍ teeth.

“Or⁠ perhaps they’re planning‍‍ to personally exterminate​ your entire family?”⁠‍‍

Eremvalt’s‍‍ face turned pale.​

Cold‌ sweat began running‌‌‍ down his back.⁠​

Seeing‍⁠ that reaction, even​ Erdes, who had‌‌ spoken jokingly, became​⁠‍ confused.

“What’s⁠​ wrong? Why are‍ you reacting like⁠⁠‍ that?”

“It’s​‍ nothing…”

“Of‌ course it is.‍‌‍ That reaction means‍​‍ you thought it​‌ was possible, doesn’t‍⁠‍ it? You must‌ have had quite‌‌ an intense conversation.”‍

“It‌​ was nothing special.‍ I simply spoke‌⁠‍ with Regent Valdrova⁠‍ and told him‌‌⁠ that he no​ longer had any​ connection to our⁠ family. He just​‌ overreacted.”

“…What?”‍

Erdes​‌⁠ stopped smiling.

Nor‍‌‌ did she become⁠ angry.

She​ simply stared at​​ him with a completely expressionless face.⁠

And‍ that was even​ more terrifying.

“As⁠​ I told him,⁠‌‍ Regent Perda does‌⁠ not share our‍‌‌ blood. I explained​‌​ it to him.​‍ Aside from the​‍ gray hair, he‌ resembles us in‌ absolutely nothing.”

“Hmm.‌⁠‍ So you severed⁠‍ ties with him?”⁠⁠⁠

“That’s⁠ right.”

“Hmm…”‍

After⁠⁠‍ hearing the answer,‌ Erdes merely tapped‍‍ her chin lightly⁠​‌ with her index‌⁠ finger.

Eremvalt‍‌​ felt the need‍ to break the⁠‍ uncomfortable silence.

“And​‍​ besides… Perda uses‌ black magic.”

“…Why?”‌‌

“When⁠‍⁠ I told him​ I wanted to‍‌ cut ties with⁠ him, he used​ black magic to​ create a hand.⁠‍⁠ He tried to⁠​ strangle me!”

Eremvalt⁠‌ pretended not to‌ understand what had⁠⁠⁠ really happened.

Because‌‍ he was certain​​ he would have⁠‌⁠ died on the‍‍ spot if he​ had.

Erdes’s​‌ eyes shifted slightly.‌‍

“And⁠ did he strangle‌⁠​ you?”

“No…‌‍‌ he withdrew it‍ before doing so…”⁠‍​

“What⁠ a good boy.”‍⁠

“Huh?”⁠

Eremvalt⁠​‌ was bewildered.

The‌ woman who hated⁠‍​ black magic more‌ than anyone was‍‍ acting as though‌‍‍ it were unimportant.‍​

“He’s⁠​‍ a good boy⁠ because he didn’t‌‌‌ strangle his father​ after his father‌‌ went to tell‌ him that he​ wanted to sever⁠​ all ties with‍​ him.”

Not​‍⁠ only that.

She⁠ was defending him.⁠​‍

Eremvalt​‌ had no choice‍​‌ but to ask⁠‍‍ directly.

“What⁠‌‍ do you intend‌ to do about​ Regent Perda?”

“Do​‌​ about him? Nothing.”⁠

“Nothing?⁠‌‌ Even though he‌​ tried to kill‍‍​ me with black​‌‌ magic?”

“Yes.​‌ Whether you live‍‌​ or die has‌‍ absolutely nothing to‌ do with me.”‌

The⁠⁠ insolent young woman’s‌ voice was accompanied⁠ by a long‍‍‍ sigh.

“Ah,‍ honestly. When everyone‍ fails this badly,‌ it makes me‌​‌ terribly depressed. Heaven⁠ really protects that‌‌ brat.”

Erdes‌‍‍ stood up.

“I’m​‍ tired of you.‌ Try not to​‍ cross my path⁠ again. If you​​​ do something stupid⁠ and I find‍​⁠ out about it,‌​​ even I don’t⁠‌⁠ know what I might do. Understood?”​​

“Yes…‍ I’ll live humbly.”‌​​

As‌‍ though he was‍ no longer worth‌‍‍ wasting time on,‌​ she left the⁠ carriage.

The​‌‍ interior fell silent‍ once more.

“Huff…”​‍‌

Eremvalt‍​ placed a hand⁠⁠⁠ on his neck.​‍

Only​‍ after confirming that‌‍ it was still‍ attached to his​‌ body did he​‍‍ let out a sigh of relief.​⁠​

He‌ felt some guilt‍ for having cast​ out his son.‌​‌

But‍​​ that feeling disappeared‍ as quickly as‌ a gust of⁠ wind.

The‌ only thing that‌‍ mattered to him​​‍ was the relief‌ of knowing he​⁠ would never have‍⁠‌ to encounter that‌⁠⁠ delinquent or that⁠‍ impure thing ever‍⁠ again.

***‍

Office‍‌ of the President​‌​ of the Serdes​‌​ Magic Association.

A circular portal opened‌‌⁠ and Erdes stepped​⁠ out of it.‌‍

As⁠ usual, Secretary Lu⁠‍ was seated in⁠ the office, tending‍‌ to his work.​

“So‍⁠ you abandoned your⁠⁠ responsibilities again to​ disappear who-knows-where?”

Lu​‍​ asked, dark circles​ clearly visible beneath‍​ his eyes.

Erdes‌‌‌ turned her head⁠⁠‍ sharply and glared‍⁠ at him.

Her​‌⁠ expression was filled‍‌ with irritation.

“I‌⁠ went to strengthen​ the foundations of⁠‌ the Far East.​‌​ Do you have‍ a problem with​⁠‍ that?”

“Weren’t​‍‌ you supposed to​ hate the Regent?”‍‌

“That’s⁠​ what I thought.‌‌⁠ Damn it. What⁠ a stupid idea.”​

Still​‍‍ cursing, she dropped‌ onto the sofa.‍‍

At⁠⁠ first, it had⁠⁠⁠ seemed like a good idea to‌‍‍ manipulate the workers‌ into creating a union and turn‍‍‌ it into an‌ opposition force.

But‍⁠‍ the enemy had‍ proven far more‍‍‍ formidable than expected.‌‍

“Stephan‍​ Pascal. Wasn’t he‌‌ supposed to be⁠​ some useless nobody?”⁠‍⁠

“Are‍​⁠ you talking about​⁠ the future President‌‌‍ of the Pascal‌‍​ Chamber?”

“What?”​⁠⁠

Erdes‍​ raised her head.‍​⁠

It⁠‌ seemed she was​‍ hearing it for‌‍​ the first time.​⁠

“Since‍​⁠ when? And didn’t‍‌‍ he have two‍‌‍ very strong competitors?”⁠‍‌

“What⁠‌ era are you⁠​‍ talking about? The‍‍⁠ eldest daughter disappeared⁠‌‍ with her husband‌‍ into a village​‍ in the west,⁠‌‍ and the eldest⁠ son attempted to‌ become independent but‍⁠ eventually handed control​ of his mercenary⁠ company over to‌ Stephan.”

“And​‌‍ why didn’t I know that?”

“Because‍‌ you were never​​ interested in the‌​ subject.”

“And​ why didn’t you‌⁠ tell me?”

“Because‍​ you were never​⁠ interested in the⁠‌ subject.”

Erdes​ glared fiercely at​⁠​ him.

Lu,⁠ who had answered​​ completely naturally, looked‌‌‌ troubled.

“Uh…⁠‍​ is that somehow‍‌ my fault?”

“Isn’t⁠ that the sort‍ of thing a secretary is supposed‍‍ to handle? Even​ if I say⁠‌ I’m not interested,‍ you should insist‍‍ at least once.”​

“That​‍ sounds like feeding​‌ a baby… Fine,⁠ I understand. I’ll‍‌​ start studying mind-reading⁠‌‌ magic immediately.”

Lu‌‌ replied with an‍‍​ expression of disbelief.‌‌⁠

“And‍ Eremvalt!”

The​​‌ second thing ruining⁠ her mood.

“Who​⁠⁠ would have thought‍‍‍ he was such‌​⁠ a coward? A man from a knightly family getting⁠‍‍ scared by a mere mage!”

“People‍ who don’t get⁠​ scared usually end⁠⁠ up dead at‌ the President’s hands.⁠⁠ You have to⁠ understand that.”

“Even​‍‍ so, how can‌ he cast out⁠‌‌ his own son?”‌‍⁠

“Didn’t‌​ he say they‍ didn’t share blood?⁠⁠ Besides, he already⁠‍ has two perfectly⁠ healthy sons. And​⁠ considering he was‍​ willing to offer​​​ him as a sacrifice, it’s strange‍⁠‌ that you expected​ fatherly affection now.”‍​‍

Erdes‌ crossed her arms⁠ and grumbled unhappily.​

“Even⁠‌ so, after living​ together for eighteen⁠⁠⁠ years, there should‌⁠​ be some affection​ left, shouldn’t there?⁠​ If it were​ me, I’d at​ least have some​‍ fondness left from‍⁠‌ all those years‌⁠‌ together.”

Lu’s‌ eyes widened in​‍‍ horror.

“You,‌​‌ President?”

“Why?⁠ Does that sound‍ strange? Do you‍‌⁠ think you survived​ after speaking to‌‍‍ me so disrespectfully‍‍​ because you’re exceptionally‌ competent?”

Lu⁠ shrank back in‍‌‌ fear.

“Anyway,‌‍​ I couldn’t find‍‍‍ any weakness either.‍‍‌ If there had‍ been even a little affection or​⁠‌ some kind of⁠ family bond left,​‌ I could have‍ used it as​⁠‌ leverage to blackmail⁠‍⁠ that brat…”

The⁠ only thing she‌‌ had discovered was​‌⁠ how complicated his​‍⁠ life had been.⁠‌⁠

And⁠⁠⁠ she did not‍‍⁠ like that.

“Blue.”⁠​​

“What⁠ is it?”

“Am⁠⁠‍ I really that‌⁠‌ bad at judging‌‌ people?”

“Have​ you finally realized‍​‌ it?”

“Do​‍‍ you really want‌‍ to die?”

“If​ you want a serious answer, you’re‌‌ not particularly good‍‌​ at it.”

“But‌​‍ the Association functions⁠‍ well, doesn’t it?‍⁠ Doesn’t that mean‍‌ I’m doing my‍​‌ job properly?”

“Well,⁠ if it didn’t‍ function properly, you’d​‌ start by chopping‍⁠​ off heads. Since‌‍ everyone’s afraid of‍‌​ you, things somehow​⁠​ end up working.”‍

“Hmm,​⁠⁠ so that’s what⁠‍‍ it was. That’s⁠ what it was.‌ I suppose it’s‍ time for a change.”

“Yes.⁠‌⁠ You should also⁠ reorganize the staff‌⁠‍ and do a general cleanup. Like⁠‌ when you hired​⁠⁠ me.”

Lu​⁠ took the opportunity‍ to suggest it.​‍⁠

Erdes‌ stared at him.​​

“Even​ if you say​‌⁠ that, I’ll never⁠⁠ release you from​​⁠ your lifetime contract⁠⁠ as my secretary.”‌

“Damn⁠ it.”

The‍‌ secretary of the⁠ President of the‌⁠ Magic Association continued‍ failing in his⁠​‍ attempts to escape.⁠‌‍

***‌

After⁠‌‌ confessing his concerns,⁠‍​ Perda returned to‍ work.

The​ wound Eremvalt had​‍​ left behind had‍ calmed somewhat, but‌⁠⁠ the aftereffects still​ lingered in his‌ mind in the‍‌⁠ form of uncertainty.​​

‘No‍‍⁠ matter what, it’s‍⁠‍ a fact that​ my power is⁠‍ unstable.’

It‍‍ was not simply‌ a matter of​ being driven by⁠​‍ a single emotion.‌‌

The‍‌​ possibility of other​ emotions interfering was⁠ something unprecedented.

If‍⁠ he had been​‍ the Perda from⁠ before the regression,⁠​​ he probably would‌​​ have considered it​‌‌ an opportunity and‌⁠ tried to take‌⁠ advantage of it⁠‌‌ somehow.

For⁠⁠ a Red Circle​​ mage, other emotions⁠‍​ are nothing more‍ than restraints.

Perda⁠​ understood that balance‍ very well.

‘Losing‌ control only leads‍‍ to tragedy.’

He‌‍‌ would end up​‍‍ acting against Valdrova’s​​ wishes.

And⁠‍ Ruri, as Valdrova’s‍ maid, would demand⁠​ accountability from Perda.​‌

Dying‍‍‌ at Ruri’s hands‍​ would undoubtedly be‌​ a tragedy.

‘But​ an even greater‍‍ tragedy would be…’‍​

Killing‍‍​ Ruri when she‌‌ came to kill‍​‌ him.

‘If‌ I ended up​ killing the only⁠ person Valdrova trusts…’‌‍

The‍‌⁠ loneliness Valdrova had‍ felt appeared vividly‍‍​ in his mind.‍‌⁠

After​‍⁠ the Dragon-Demon War,⁠‍ she had spent​⁠⁠ one hundred and⁠‍‌ fifty years carrying‌‍‍ guilt and loneliness.⁠‍⁠

But⁠‌ she had still‌‌ possessed a small‍ measure of hope.‌​

She​​​ knew that Ruri​‌‌ remained by her‌ side.

In⁠‍‌ the previous life,‌⁠​ even she had‌ disappeared.

That​ meant Valdrova had‍ absolutely no one‌‍ left.

Nothing⁠ remained except despair.⁠⁠

‘I⁠ would have gone⁠⁠‌ mad long ago.’​‍‍

But​​ she had not‌ gone mad.

In​‍​ the end, she‌​​ had even given‍‍ her heart to​ Perda, someone who⁠‍​ hated her.

It​⁠ was not surrender⁠‌ born of despair.‍

It​ was a final‍ hope created through‍ sacrifice.

‘To⁠ a woman like‌⁠ that…’

How​​‍ could he abandon‍⁠‌ her?

How⁠​‌ could he hurt​​ her?

It​ would be like‍‌‍ throwing a rope‌ to someone trapped​‌‌ in a pit‍‍​ of despair without‍‌ realizing that the‍‍ rope was rotten.‌‍

It‌ would not save​ her.

It⁠‌ would only leave‌​​ even deeper wounds.‌⁠

Just​ like in that⁠⁠⁠ dream.

Like⁠⁠​ when he was⁠‍⁠ strangling her.

Don’t​⁠‌ worry.

At⁠​​ those moments, a sweet voice echoed‌‌ in his ears.‌‌

There​​ is no reason​‌ to worry about​​ that.

Because⁠‌ you are strong.​‍‌

Just​ do what you’re‍ good at.

Perda​‍⁠ did not answer⁠ that voice.

He‍‌ ignored it.

And​‍⁠ continued ignoring it​​ until it faded‌ away.

‘I‍ must keep a cool head.’

He​ had to strengthen⁠​​ his will so​‍ he would not⁠‌⁠ succumb to that‌‍ enormous temptation.

Perda​ Valdrova.

A man who always‍⁠ found answers.

He‌‌‍ decided to believe‍​ that he would​‌ find one this‌​ time as well.‍‌

‘In‌⁠‌ the worst-case scenario…’⁠‍

He‌ could abandon his‍‌⁠ life as a mage.

That‌‌ was preferable to‍⁠‌ carrying a bomb‍ that could explode‌ at any moment.‍

‘If​‌ that happens, what‌ will I have⁠​ left?’

Ruri⁠ had asked only‌⁠ one thing of⁠ him.

To⁠‍​ become a fiancé⁠ worthy of Valdrova.⁠‍⁠

He​​​ had thought he⁠‌ would improve with⁠ time.

But⁠ all he understood‌‌‌ more clearly with‌⁠ each passing day‍⁠ was how insignificant​‌ he truly was.⁠‌‍

Everything‌ he possessed consisted‌‌‌ of fragments of‌​ future knowledge and​‌⁠ magical expertise.

By​ the standards Ruri‍​⁠ desired, he was‌ completely out of​​⁠ the running.

It‍‌‍ was a miserable‍‌‌ situation.

If⁠ he abandoned either​‌ side, the balance‌‍ would shatter and​​ everything would collapse.⁠​

He⁠⁠⁠ did not want‌​‍ to give up.‍

Just​ as she had‌ never given up⁠ on him, regardless‌​ of the circumstances.‌​

Perda‌‍‍ did not want⁠⁠‍ to give up​ on her either.‍

Rumble!‍​

At⁠ that moment.

A tremendous vibration shook⁠‌⁠ the castle.

‘Valdrova’s‌ draconic energy?’

No.‍​‌

The‍‍ frequency was different.‌

The‌‍‌ vibration was coming​‍ from inside the‌​ castle.

It⁠ seemed that someone⁠ had caused a major incident.

‘Was‌‍ there any experiment‍‍ large enough to​‍ cause something like⁠​ this?’

Perda‌‍ stood up and‍​ headed toward the⁠‍ research building.

The⁠ hallways were already‌ full of confused‍​ people.

“What’s​‍ happening?”

“That’s‌⁠ exactly what we‍⁠ were trying to‍‌‌ find out.”

“Didn’t‌ the explosion occur​ in your laboratory?”⁠​‍

“There’s‍ no way an⁠‍ explosion of this​ magnitude could occur‌⁠⁠ in our laboratory.”‌

None‍ of the people​ capable of causing​‌‌ something like this‌‌ understood what had‍ happened.

Even⁠ Perda had assumed⁠ it came from‌‌ Vernell’s laboratory.

‘If⁠‌ it wasn’t there…’‍

Only‌​ one possibility remained.‍

“Lord⁠​ Perda.”

Ruri‍​ appeared to report​‍‍ to him.

“There​​⁠ has been a massive magical disturbance.​ The location is…”​⁠​

“The⁠⁠ library?”

“How⁠‍ did you know?”⁠⁠

Ruri⁠‍ narrowed her eyes.‌⁠‍

The⁠‍ unspoken question was​ whether he had‍​​ something to do​ with it.

“Because‌ if it wasn’t‍​ here, the only‍‍​ person capable of​‍‍ causing an explosion​​ of this level⁠​​ is Echidna.”

That‌⁠ week, it was‍‌​ Echidna’s turn to‌‌​ take care of‍⁠‍ Morida.

And⁠​⁠ Echidna was undoubtedly‍ enjoying Morida’s company⁠ in the library.‍​

Perda​⁠‌ and Ruri headed‍​ there.

When⁠‌‍ they opened the‌ door, they found‌‍ the interior completely⁠⁠ devastated.

Morida‌​‍ was sitting in‌ the middle of‍‍‌ the wreckage.

She‍‍‍ calmly moved piles⁠⁠‌ of fallen papers​‍‍ aside like late-autumn​​⁠ leaves while continuing⁠‌‍ her work.

The​‍⁠ enormous explosion seemed‌‌​ not to bother‍ her in the‌‍⁠ slightest.

“Morida.”‍‍‌

Upon​​ hearing her name,⁠​​ she stopped writing​‌‍ and raised her​​ head.

Her‍‍​ eyes shone with⁠‌ an unchanging purity.‍‍‌

No.‍‍​

She⁠​ even seemed to​‌⁠ have a strangely‍⁠ refreshed expression.

“What‍⁠⁠ happened here?”

Morida‍⁠‌ wrote her answer‌⁠ on a sheet⁠⁠‌ of paper.

— Echidna has been‍​ destroyed.

It​‍ was a brief⁠⁠‌ and straightforward explanation.‌‌‌

But‍ the content was‌⁠ extremely serious.

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