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I Married the Dragon I Killed Chapter 117: That Smell

Chapter 117: That Smell

After‌ Perda received the⁠​​ witch’s invitation, all⁠‌​ the castle workers​ returned to their‌ duties.

Everyone‌‍‍ except one person.​‌

Ruri‍ Silverwind.

She‍​​ alone remained staring​‍‍ at the place‍⁠ where Perda had‌‌ disappeared after accepting⁠ the invitation.

By‍‍​ now, she should‍ have been cleaning,​‍‍ but at that​‍​ moment she could​⁠ not focus on​​‌ anything.

A complicated mix of‍​ emotions kept swirling⁠‍​ through her mind,​ tormenting her.

‘Why​​‍ did he make‍‍⁠ that decision?’

She‌ could not read⁠​ Perda’s true intentions,‌‍ and that made‍‌‌ her constantly imagine‍‌ the worst.

It‍ was something that‍‌‌ would have shaken​​‍ even a saint.​‍‍

When​‍ she remembered everything‍⁠ Perda had done,‌ she could not‌ help it.

He‌⁠ had allowed a witch and a demon into the⁠⁠‌ castle.

He⁠​ had negotiated with​ a Great Demon.​

And⁠⁠⁠ now he had‌⁠‌ accepted an invitation⁠​ from the leader‍⁠ of the witches.​⁠‍

He‍⁠ was a man​​​ who did absolutely‌‍‌ everything he was‌⁠ told not to‌⁠ do.

‘If‍‍ it were ordinary‌ humans, what would‌‌‍ I have done?’‌

What‌ would she have​​‍ done?

Any‍​⁠ one of those‌‌ things alone would‍‌ have been enough​​⁠ for her to​‌‌ throw them out​ without hesitation.

But‌​⁠ in Perda’s case,‍⁠‍ there was not​⁠‍ just one reason.⁠​

There‌‌​ were many.

That​‌ alone was enough‌​​ to justify an‍‌ execution.

The⁠ reason she did‌‍⁠ not do it‌ to Perda was​ simple.

‘Because⁠ I can trust‍​‍ him.’

Perda​‍‍ was someone capable‍ of doing anything​ for her lady.⁠‍

In‍‌ fact, even when‌⁠ serious problems arose,​⁠ he responded flexibly,‌​ and so far​​‌ he had not​ caused a single‍‍⁠ disaster.

This‍ invitation might also⁠ be something she‌ could perhaps trust.‌​‍

However,‌​ the situation had‌ changed.

Ruri‌‌ had seen Perda’s​‍⁠ weakness.

Once⁠ she realized that​⁠ he was also‌‍⁠ a ridiculously fragile‌​⁠ human being, she‌ could no longer‍ see him the​⁠​ same way.

He​⁠‌ was just like‍‍ every other fragile‌​‍ human.

And‌‍ if a human‍‌‌ with the potential⁠ to become a threat appeared—

‘I‌ must kill him.’‍‌​

Ruri‍ looked at her​‌ own hands.

She‍⁠ remembered the promise​ she had made​ to Perda.

“I​‍ will kill him​‌ with these hands.”‌

Ruri‌‌ thought.

‘If‌ he tries to‌ harm my lady,⁠⁠⁠ will I really​‍ be able to‍⁠​ kill him?’

She‍‌ was a Dragon‌‌⁠ Spawn.

Killing​‌‍ humans was not​‍ something that made‍⁠⁠ her hesitate.

She‌‍ was the one​​‍ who had killed​ the Third Prince’s‌ subordinates when they⁠ tried to use‍‌ Valdrova as nothing‌⁠⁠ more than a stepping stone to⁠​‌ power.

She⁠‌ was also the‍​ one who had​‍‍ tried to kill‍‌ Perda during their⁠ first meeting.

But⁠‌‍ her heart was‍‌ no longer the‍ same as it‌ had been back‍‍ then.

Even​⁠​ if Perda were‌ to be hated‌⁠ by Valdrova, even‍⁠ if it led‍ to their engagement‍​ being broken and​ gave her more⁠⁠⁠ than enough justification,‌ could she kill‌ him?

She‌ was not even‌ sure of that.​​

‘I​‌⁠ too…’

What‍ those hands wanted⁠‍⁠ to hold was⁠ not Perda’s neck.⁠

‘I⁠⁠ wish I could‍ rely on that⁠​​ man without worrying‌⁠ about anything…’

Just‍ as her lady,​‌ Valdrova, did.

She‌​ wanted to watch‍ his actions without‍ overthinking them.

She⁠‍ wanted to see⁠ humans gather in‍ that barren land‌ and make it‍⁠‍ prosper.

At‌ first, she had‌⁠‍ reasons not to‌ trust him.

She​⁠‍ believed Perda was‌ no different from⁠⁠ the Third Prince.‍‍

Her‍​‌ task had been‍⁠ to look for‍‌⁠ any excuse in‌‍‌ his actions to‍‍ drive him away.‌⁠

However,‌‌ even now that​ all those misunderstandings‌⁠‍ had been resolved,‌‍​ Ruri still could‌ not do it.‌

‘Perda‌ is human.’

Humans​‌ are mortal.

They​​​ are destined to​ die someday.

And​ the closer they‌ come to death,⁠⁠ the more unstable​ they become.

Perda‍‍​ could not escape‌ that.

The⁠​‌ image of his⁠⁠ fragility continued to⁠​ linger faintly before‌​ Ruri’s eyes.

Someone⁠​‍ had to remain‍ vigilant.

And​ that someone had⁠⁠⁠ to be Ruri.‍

She⁠​ had to remain⁠ cautious and search​​‍ for any trace⁠ of malice in⁠‍ his actions.

Not⁠ only for Valdrova.‍⁠​

‘I​‌ must protect him.’​⁠

She⁠‍⁠ had to protect‌⁠‌ the man who⁠ wanted to protect​⁠​ her lady.

She⁠ had to protect‌‍ him from all‌​ the things that​ constantly tested him.‍⁠​

As‍ she continued staring‌‌ at that place‌ without moving, she​​⁠ felt a wave‍​ of mana from⁠‍​ within the castle.⁠

Ruri⁠​⁠ immediately knew where‌⁠‌ it had originated.‍⁠

And​‍ once she knew​ that, she also‌ knew who had‌ returned.

‘Lord‍‍ Perda.’

Ruri​⁠ ran there with​⁠ the speed characteristic‍ of Silverwind blood.⁠‌⁠

In‍​ the place where⁠ only Morida should​‍ have been, Echidna‍ was standing.

She​​​ looked at Ruri⁠‍‍ with a confused⁠ expression.

“I-It​⁠ seems quite a commotion broke out…”‌

She⁠⁠ tried to ease⁠⁠‍ the situation with‍ an awkward smile​​ and nervous gestures,⁠⁠ but Ruri walked​⁠‌ straight toward her.‍

The⁠⁠ moment Echidna saw​​ Ruri’s expression, her⁠​ face turned pale.‍

“Chief‌​​ Researcher.”

“Y-Yes?”⁠⁠‍

“Tell⁠‌‌ me the truth.”​​

Echidna‍​‌ shrank under Ruri’s‍⁠ pressure.

“Where‍‌​ did you leave‌⁠ Lord Perda? Why‍⁠ did you return⁠⁠ alone?”

“W-Well…⁠ Big Sister wanted​‌ to see Lord​‍⁠ Regent…”

“What⁠​‍ did they do⁠‍ to Perda?”

Ruri’s​‍ pressure intensified even‍​‌ further when she‌​​ heard Big Sister’s‌​‍ name.

At⁠⁠​ last, Echidna began⁠ speaking hurriedly, on‍ the verge of​ tears.

“H-He’s⁠‍⁠ safe! Lord Regent⁠‍ told me not‌​ to worry and‍​ asked me to⁠‌ deliver a message…!”‍‌​

Boom!‌

A brutal force exploded​​ right beside Echidna’s​ head.

Ruri’s⁠‌ leg had slammed​⁠ violently into the​ library floor.

The​​⁠ impact caused several‍ books to fall‌ from the shelves.‌‌

“Can‌⁠‍ you guarantee those‍ words?”

“Y-Yes?”​⁠

“Can‌​​ you guarantee that‌ Lord Perda is‍‌⁠ safe, just as​‌⁠ you returned unharmed?”⁠‍

“Th-That⁠‍​ is…”

He’s‌⁠ fine.

He’ll‍⁠​ return safely.

It‌ was a situation‌​​ that could have​ been resolved simply‍​ by saying that.‌⁠‌

“I-I⁠ don’t really know‍‌ either…”

But‌ Echidna could not​‌⁠ do it.

Precisely​‍ because she had‍‍ once been a Philiaz witch, she‌ knew the nature‍​‌ of witches well.⁠

What​ she did not‍​‌ know were the‍⁠ true intentions of​‍ Big Sister Lucy⁠ Philiaz.

It​‌‌ was far too‍‌​ dangerous a place‌‍ to guarantee that⁠‍ everything would be‌‌‍ fine.

And‌​‍ she could not​​ read Lucy’s intentions​‌‍ either.

When‌‌ she heard that,⁠‌ Ruri’s expression tightened.​‌⁠

She​‍ looked angry, but‍⁠‌ what she actually‍​⁠ felt was confusion.‌‍

She⁠ had not asked⁠‍‌ that question seeking​‍​ simple reassurance.

But​ hearing that even⁠ Echidna did not‍ know only increased​ her anxiety.

‘I​⁠‌ can’t leave him‍ there alone.’

She‌ remembered what had‌ happened between Perda​‌ and Abel.

If‌‍ he found himself‌‍​ in such a helpless situation again,‍‍‍ Ruri would not‍ be able to​​ help him.

“Chief‌​ Researcher. You used‌‍⁠ to be a witch as well,⁠​‌ correct?”

“O-Of⁠⁠⁠ course…”

“Can‍⁠ you take me‌‍​ to the Garden‌​​ of Witches?”

“T-To⁠ the Garden? Even​ if I wanted​ to go…”

“Can​‌ you or can‌‍‍ you not?”

Ruri‌ demanded an answer.‌​

Echidna⁠‌ replied.

“I-I‌⁠​ can’t… Even if⁠‍ I try to⁠‍ go, entering that​‌‌ place depends on‌ Big Sister. If‍‍ Big Sister does‌ not allow it,⁠‍‍ reaching it is​​ impossible. If I try to force‍⁠ it, I could‌ die, or worse,⁠ become a wandering⁠⁠ specter trapped in‍⁠⁠ Limbo forever.”

Mages‍‍‌ who misuse teleportation‌​ magic end up‌ becoming ghosts trapped‌⁠ between time and​‍‍ space.

Perhaps⁠⁠​ it was a fate even crueler‍ than death.

That‌​‍ meant she could‍ not simply force⁠‌⁠ Echidna to do‍ the impossible.

‘And‌ above all, if‌⁠​ someone must do‍⁠ something, it has​ to be me.’⁠

What‍‍​ could she do?​‍

She,‍‍ who only knew‌⁠ how to use​‌ force.

What‌ exactly could she‌ do…?

“Huh?”⁠​‌

At⁠‌‍ that moment, a sensation passed through‍⁠⁠ Echidna’s mind.

As​⁠​ if she had⁠‌ been waiting for‍ that exact moment,​ she looked at⁠‌ Ruri and spoke.​‌

“L-Lord⁠⁠ P-Perda has returned!”​⁠‌

“!!”⁠‍⁠

The‍⁠⁠ moment she heard⁠ that, Ruri also‌⁠ withdrew the foot​‌ she had been‍‍ using to pin‍​⁠ Echidna in place.​

As‍ though afraid of‍​ missing the opportunity,⁠ she immediately ran​ toward the spot‌‍ where he had⁠ disappeared.

Just‍ as Echidna had​‌ said, Perda was‍‍⁠ there.

So⁠​ completely unharmed that​ it made all‍‌ her worries seem‍‌ ridiculous.

Black⁠​ suit.

Gray⁠‍‍ hair.

And​ deep blue eyes‍​‌ like a lake.‌‌‌

Ruri’s‍​‌ agitated heart calmed⁠ when she confirmed​ that figure.

Then​‍‌ her gaze hardened,‍ and she walked‌⁠​ toward him.

“Lord​‌‍ Perda.”

However,‍‍⁠ she could not‌​ hide the tremor‍‍ in her voice.‍⁠⁠

Trying‌ to appear calm,​ she asked.

“What​​​ did that witch‍ do to you?”‌‍⁠

Perda‍‍ replied.

“Nothing‍ happened.”

“I‍ cannot believe you​‌ went all the‌‍ way to the​ Garden of Witches​ and nothing happened.​ Besides, they said‍ Big Sister spent​‍ quite a long‌‍⁠ time with you.”‌‌‍

Perda‌⁠‍ nodded as though​ he agreed and‌⁠‌ answered again.

“We‌‌⁠ only talked.”

“And​‍​ what exactly did‌​ you talk about?”​

“About⁠ something that you‌‍ and I had‍⁠‌ not been able‍‌⁠ to solve.”

That​​‌ meant the witch⁠⁠‌ had seen Perda’s​ weakness.

The​⁠ hands Ruri had‌‍​ politely clasped together‍‍⁠ tightened.

“Don’t⁠ tell me you⁠ made a deal‌‌ with that witch…?”‌⁠

“I⁠ did not make‍‍ any deal.”

If‍ he had stopped​‍ there, perhaps Ruri⁠​ would have felt​​​ some relief.

“But⁠ she did help‌ me.”

And‍​ because of that,‍‍⁠ she could not.⁠⁠‌

Big‍⁠ Sister, Lucy Philiaz.​

She‍ was a witch‍ who was difficult​​ to encounter, but‌ Ruri had met‌‌ her before.

“That⁠ woman said she⁠ wanted to help⁠‌ Lady Valdrova?”

“Yes.”​

“Then‌⁠​ she also talked‌​​ about me.”

“Yes.”⁠⁠

Her​​⁠ expression hardened.

“Do‌⁠‌ you know why‌ I ignored her‌ when she said‍‍​ she wanted to⁠⁠‌ help Lady Valdrova?”​⁠‍

“……”‌​‌

“Because​‌ witches are a group that sees‍ everyone who is⁠⁠ not one of⁠ them as either‌ enemies or toys.⁠ They are wretches‍ who use other‍​ people’s vengeance for‌ their own amusement.​ The descendants of​⁠ Silverwind were also⁠​ victims of that‌​⁠ entertainment. Do you‌​ know what Lucy‍ Philiaz said when​‍‌ we demanded accountability‍‌ for that?”

“……”⁠

“She‍⁠ said she could‍​ not control the‌ Philiaz over something‍​‍ so insignificant.”

Ruri‌⁠‍ was a Dragon‍⁠⁠ Spawn.

And‌‍⁠ among them, a descendant of Silverwind,⁠⁠ the bloodline with⁠‌⁠ the strongest family​ bonds.

It‌‍ was easy to​‌ imagine how much⁠⁠ someone who despised​ family ties would⁠⁠‌ anger her.

“For‍ that damned woman,⁠ you are also⁠ nothing more than⁠‍ a small, insignificant⁠‌ piece. Those things⁠⁠‌ know no compassion.‌ They will slowly‍‍⁠ ensnare you and⁠‍ eventually turn you⁠​‌ into one of‌​ their toys.”

Ruri’s‍‌ anger had a certain logic to⁠‍‌ it.

Talking​​⁠ with a witch‌​​ was like carrying‌⁠​ a bomb that​ could explode at‌‌⁠ any moment.

That⁠‍‍ was the common‍‍​ perception.

Common​⁠ sense.

“Do‌ you suspect that‍⁠ I might betray‍‌​ her?”

At⁠‍​ Perda’s question, Ruri‌‌ clenched her fists.‍‍

“Yes.”​​‍

But‍​ in truth, that⁠⁠ was not it.‌​

“I’m⁠ worried that you’ll⁠⁠ end up hurting⁠⁠ my lady.”

She⁠‌ simply did not⁠​ want to see‍‍ him turned into​ a witch’s toy.​‌​

Her⁠‍ sharp words pierced‌ Perda once again.​

“That’s‌ a relief.”

“……What?”‍​

Ruri⁠‍ raised her head.​​

“What‍‌​ do you mean?‌ How can that‌​⁠ possibly be a relief?”

“Because‌​⁠ if you think‌​‍ that way, I won’t have to⁠‌​ lie to myself.”⁠​

“……”‌⁠‌

Perda​ looked at her⁠‌‍ with a deep‍ gaze.

“As​​⁠ you said, someday​​​ I might end‌⁠ up hurting her.⁠‌‌ I might convince⁠​‍ myself it’s for‍‍ her own good‌‍​ and end up⁠​ walking the wrong⁠ path. If you​​ keep that vigilance‌ alive, then there​ will be a chance to correct⁠⁠ me if I stray.”

“That‌‌ sounds like you’re​⁠ leaving that responsibility​⁠ to me.”

“In​⁠​ part, I am.”‍

“That’s‍‍ irresponsible.”

“I‌⁠ can’t help it.‌ You’re the person⁠ I trust the‌​ most.”

Trust.​‍

“I‌‍ trust you enough‌​‍ to show you​‍ this weakness of‌‍‌ mine.”

Upon‍⁠ hearing those words,‌​⁠ something Ruri could⁠ not control arose⁠⁠ within her chest.​‍

‘Again.’⁠

Just‌‌‍ like that day,‍​⁠ a faint smell‍⁠‌ of ashes crossed‍ her mind.

And​​‌ Perda’s face began‍​ to overlap with‍ someone else’s.

Silverwind.​‌​

He​ did not resemble⁠​ the person who‍⁠ had taken her‌ in when she​ was empty at​ all.

And‌​ yet, she ended⁠ up confusing them.‍‍‌

The‍​‍ cold, steel-like heart‌⁠‍ of the soldier⁠​‌ began to soften.‍‍‌

Trying‍‍ to hide that‍ feeling, she moved​⁠ her lips and‍‍ lowered her head.⁠​

Perda​​‍ had no way⁠‌ of understanding what‍​​ she was feeling.‌​‍

Instead,⁠ he placed a hand on her‍‌ head.

“My⁠ judgment may become‍⁠⁠ clouded someday, but​‌ for now, trust‌ me. I won’t​⁠ become that witch’s​ toy.”

He‌‌ gently patted her‌⁠ head without asking‌​​ permission.

Ruri’s‌ confusion grew stronger.‍​⁠

And‌⁠​ the smell drew‍​ closer as well.⁠⁠

That‌‍‍ smell of ashes‌‌⁠ from that day.‍‍

Wait.‍⁠

This‍ isn’t the smell‌⁠‌ of ashes.

“……A​ smell.”

“Hm?”‌‍

Ruri‌ sniffed several times⁠​‌ before raising her‍ head.

“It‌‌ smells like tobacco…”⁠‌

Her‍​‌ expression turned terrible.‌

“Why‍‍‍ do you smell‌⁠ so strongly of⁠ tobacco, Lord Perda?”⁠‍​

“That’s…”​

Perda​ recalled Lucy Philiaz’s‍​‍ actions.

How​​‍ many times had‌⁠‍ she blown smoke⁠​⁠ directly into his‍⁠⁠ face?

‘Don’t‍ tell me…’

No.​

It‍ was not a guess.

He‌⁠ was certain.

Lucy⁠‌ Philiaz had smoked⁠‍ so excessively precisely‍⁠ to create a situation like this.⁠‌

‘So‌​‌ she decided to‌‍ mess with me‌⁠⁠ this way.’

They⁠‍ said that once‌‍ you got involved‌‌ with a witch,​‍ you would never​​⁠ have another peaceful‍​ day.

“…First,‌ you’ll need to⁠ take a bath.”⁠‌​

Ruri​ pulled out a green towel.

Perda⁠‌‌ replied with the​‍‍ spirit of an‌‌ ox being led‍‌‍ to slaughter.

“…Be‍ gentle.”

But‍⁠‌ the word mercy⁠​ did not exist‍⁠‌ in Ruri’s dictionary.‌‍‌

***​‍‌

Perda‍​‌ recalled Big Sister​ Lucy’s words.

“The⁠‌‌ boundaries between emotions…”‍

Lucy⁠‍⁠ Philiaz had told⁠ him to draw‍ a line between‌‌ his two emotions.⁠⁠

He‍⁠⁠ did not know​⁠ how to do​ it, but she‌‍ had left him​⁠ a clue.

‘The⁠ mana circulation technique,‍⁠⁠ Shape of Shadow.’‍‌⁠

The‍ phrase said.

‘I​ become the shadow,‍ and the shadow‌​ becomes me.’

According‌⁠ to Lucy, the‍‌⁠ key to controlling‍⁠ the two emotions‌‍ he possessed lay‍ there.

“If⁠‌⁠ the shadow can⁠ truly become me,‌⁠‌ then wouldn’t anything‌ be possible…?”

Muttering‌‍⁠ those words, Perda‌ raised a Shadow⁠ Hand.

This​⁠ was a hand.‍‍‍

‘But‍‌ at the same‌​⁠ time, it isn’t⁠​ a hand.’

Since‌‌⁠ it was not⁠⁠ a real hand,​‍ it was not​ strange for the‍​ fingers to bend⁠‌ beyond normal limits.‍

In‌​​ fact, by deliberately​​⁠ breaking the orientation​⁠ of the fingers,⁠‌​ he could freely‍‌ reverse the front⁠‍ and the back.‌‌⁠

He‍‍ could also alter‌ its shape to⁠‌ imitate a foot.​⁠​

Or​⁠ even crudely transform​ it into a beast’s paw.

‘Therefore,​‍ this is a hand and at​‍ the same time‍ not a hand.’​‍

Alternating⁠ his gaze between​​‍ the hand formed‍‍ from black mana‍​ and his real‌ hand, he pondered‌ deeply.

Perda​‍⁠ stopped trying to‍​ control it and‍‍‍ allowed his thoughts​ to flow.

The​ Shadow Hand is‍‌‌ a hand and,‌​ at the same‍‍‌ time, not a hand.

‘Then‌​ this shadow is⁠‌‍ also my body⁠ and at the⁠‌ same time not‍ my body.’

In​‌ that case—

‘Wouldn’t‌‍ it be possible‍ to create something⁠​ that is my‍‌‌ Circle and, at​​‌ the same time,‌⁠‍ not a Circle?’⁠

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